Ahh, nothing like that late Saturday night date with the DB BB !!
ABC--you seem to feel triply sure that I consider a separation. Actually, I think both you and Christine are both right, but as you note, there really is no "right" answer.
Not much happening here. W's nights out this week have ended earlier than I suspected. However, she is going out tonight with her sister to do some NYC clubbing. She was wearing a tight sheer white top and ditched her wedding ring--but for the first time ever, put another ring on her left ring finger. As further evidence of her state of mind, she also ditched the wedding ring at a family event today.
I continue to be upbeat. W's edginess was on display early as I was vacuuming. W asked me why I was doing it; was I saying she did a bad job at cleaning the house. I just said the kids had made a mess and I wanted it cleaned. Next time, I'll say she does a great job, but it's virtually impossible to keep up with the kids and I didn't want to leave it for her. I tried to engage her in lighter banter later in the day with some postive feedback, but when she turned edgy, I knew to back off.
At the family event, BIL (W's brother) took me aside to ask how long I intended to let this go on--especially as he saw W's mental condition deteriorating. He said W's mind is set and there is nothing I can do about it. I made my case as best as I could, especially on patience and how I have not really backed off the way I should. I added that every M expert that works to save marriage has told me that the this could take a couple of years--and I could give up or have that patience. He seemed to respect this --especially on the notion that the kids could be worse off with a S and that I could show them real love every day while living with them.
To be honest, the only reason I see for me to leave would be if I wanted to have sex. But my M is important to me than that right now--so I'll just stay with the program.
!!
