I just have time for a quick post but I wanted to chime in on the "best friend" issue. It is great that you have identified your W's LL. This is the same for my H. I agree that your W might not be having a PA. I don't think my H was either. It's the emotional connection that is important to them. I would often ask the question to myself, "What is he getting from the OW and how can I be that and more to him?" You are right. It won't happen overnight. You need to keep demonstrating your unconditional love and friendship. You need to turn the tables so that the OM becomes you.
My totally subjective and biased opinion is not to S. You have more opportunities to Db and SHOW consistent change if you are in the same house.
Take care, Merrick and don't blow your cover.
Christine
I am the master of creating positive energy and love in my own environment. I am the source of love in my life. It starts with me! This energy radiates from me! It gives me strength, courage, wisdom and grace!
