EA then PA with her ex

[Anaru]

Thanks for the suggestions - will get right on the sorry-you-feel-that-way's.
Have been going with neutral "OK's" or nothing for the outbursts before/after tense dinner with 2/3 sons with us.

MIL definitely supporting the marriage even if W thinks she is choosing my side.
Been rereading DR as well....
I found one point very good - that any outcome is painful and there is no option but to work through the pain to get to the solution you want.