Just got back from counseling which is set up because its really our only forum to communicate. It went okay, I guess. It was cordial, but it's tough to see how much different of a person she is right now. Its also tough seeing how much both of us are struggling to communicate with each other.
I did a lot of validation, even though she was accusing me of things that are just not true w/ the kids. I'm not sure if I'm on the right track, because I still see I'm defending myself. For example discussing our lack of communication with the kids:
W: It feels like you withhold stuff about the kids so you can make me look like a bad parent.
M: Since we haven't talked about it, I can understand why you may feel that way, but that was never my intention. I just don't know how much to share with you since you left. I didn't want to send you stuff if you were uncomfortable with it. You didn't ask about anything with them over the last couple months. I sent you some pictures of his school projects and also texted you asking a question about the kids and you did not reply back. I thought at that point that you didn't want that level of sharing. I can start sending you stuff if you'd like.
W: Well, when I didn't reply back, it was a month ago.
M: I can increase what I send, anything out of the ordinary like projects or issues, I'll let you know. If you are looking for more or less communication about them, just let me know.
What do you think?
M:36 W:37 T: 15 M:11 S6 D5 BD: 8/10/14 IDLY: 8/12/14 S: 8/13/14 (she left, I stayed w/ kids) D Mentioned: 10/15/14 Confronted about OM: 10/15/14 EA: ~4/13 PA: ~10/13 She filed: 8/15 (not final)
