I agree w/Life Twists on the spousal support. If you've worked outside the home the entire 21 years, you may not be able to get spousal support, depending upon the state you live in.
As for the retirement, if you worked outside the home and have a retirement plan, you will need to figure out if it's worth going after your share (if he made more than you did). He may very well opt to tag on to your retirement if it's more than his or he could very well do what my xh did. For example, in my case, I made more money, but my xh opted to keep his retirement and I would keep mind. Now, when it comes to social security benefits, when I get to that ripe old age of 65, I will apply for whatever portion that I am eligible to receive as an xw for the amount of time that I was married and he worked in the private sector and paid in to social security during the marriage. How can I do this? I will be a retired Federal employee and my pension will come from what I paid into Civil Service and it's considered separate from social security.
Again, these are questions/issues that you need to discuss w/your lawyer. Jot down your questions and be prepared to ask them in order to make a good decision.
BTW, my earlier comments were based on the fact that if you didn't work. If you worked during that time, it may change a lot of what you are thinking of requesting.
