Ganb8te 2 - WAH - lost in translation

[gan]

I don't know where I am at lately on the DB front. It's bad enough that we are dark (nay pitch black) but for a 30 minute meet up once every 4-5 weeks where he seems sad/apathetic and I show off my PMA. I feel like we reached a new level recently though when H didn't even respond to my "how are you" text. I invested too much in this R to have it just vanish without a trace. I don't get it. I want some explanations. It doesn't help that I just had a long talk with my sister and she can't understand why I'm not demanding more respect from him.

I'm feeing pretty detached these days but that is coming at the expense of feelings of compassion and love for H. I feel like I need to try something different, not just sit back and wait for him to get in touch while I GAL. But I have no idea what to do…

Some ideas that have been running through my mind:
(1) Ask his BF if he can provide any information to help me understand where H is at and what might be useful. His BF got really angry when H told him he was moving out. I've tried to respect their friendship and not talk to his BF (I do email his wife every now and then). Even just getting a second opinion on whether he thinks depression/MLC is playing in here would be helpful.
(2) Send H a letter - in the past I've had success helping H understand my point of view by putting it in writing. I'm wondering if there is any sense in putting down some ideas for how I think things could be different in a future R (in response to him saying a while ago - IF we were to get back together things would need to be different and right now he doesn't see how that can happen).

I get it, these are a total no no from a DB point of view. But the longer this goes on the more both of us are liable to slip into apathy-land and end up D by virtue of having had no meaningful interaction. DR says do what works and I guess at 5.5 months post-separation I am feeling like I don't know what that is.

Any thoughts comrades?