Newcomer With Hope (2)

[Mozza]

Hopefully, you'll get a vet to weigh on this, but here's my take from someone in a similar situation.

My W was hoping we'd be more cordial, as we'll have to deal with the kids for the next 15 years or so (I was short and delayed, or even silent). At first, I was afraid she'd be using me to have a successful separation. But then I heard from vets asking me what exactly was my plan if I wasn't going to be in touch with her (remember the strollergate?). It made me realize that if I could be a positive presence in my W's life, it was already a step in the right direction. That I would be there, in a good place, when things weren't so good with OM.

My take is that your BF is not going to go from WAH to BF just because you refuse to be in touch with him. He'll be interested in you again if you're the positive presence in his life, just as his OW becomes less exciting, more controlling, more annoying, etc. Work on your 180, use opportunities to show him your changes, don't be a doormat. But don't hide in hope of teaching him a lesson and making him come back begging. As I realized in my own sitch: if it's over with OW, it doesn't mean he'll be back with you. How can you increase the chances that you'll be next in line? By being silent?

That's just my thinking tonight.