Man, DB stuff is harder than I thought. I haven't initiated a text or phone call in a few days unless it directly pertained to my son. I also do not answer her texts right away. I am trying to mirror her responses (which are still cold or angry, I'm being friendly and confident and not pushing at all) and not reach out to her at all.
It's so contrary to what I want to do, but I keep remembering that what I want to do obviously hasn't worked. I feel so anxious inside, so very sad. It been so long since I received even what I can misconstrue as a positive sign. Even a small sign would boost my confidence.
I know I'm supposed to detach, but I am having the hardest time with that. This is all that's on my mind every day, all the time.
The holidays are coming. I suspect this will be the first Thanksgiving and Christmas that I have wanted to sleep through. And I love both holidays immensely.
