Those are 2 ways not to coddle your wife. It will show her you are not afraid or desperate and that you actually have a spine. Those are both 180's by the way.
Stop trying to work on the relationship and discuss it.
When she decides to stop the divorce train and is ready to work on the relationship I think you should live apart for, perhaps 6 months, start dating, and THEN, perhaps speak of reconciliation.
She's seems too mercurial at the moment to really bank on any decision she makes for more than a couple of weeks.
