Riding the rollercoaster

[dawgy]

Thx Pete . Yeah the last month or so has been achallenge . I take my hat off to all you people on this forum who are here fighting the good fight . Its incredibly draining and full of disappointment . A month ago I would never dream about telling my sons eveything and throwing in the towel .I feel much differently at this point . Im having serious thoughts about telling her to leave and working out a payment schedule for her . I think im having very serious thoughts of moving on . The damage to my well being has been horiffic . And to think the person I would lay my life down for has caused this damage is becoming increasingly harder to deal with daily .
Unfortunately I believe that if I told her it was over and to get out she may very likely smarten up and want to keep it together . Unfortunately i think i would tell her its too late and she can go with her POS OM .Day by day I realize life is too short to be tortured like this and I know even after i kick her out it will be a long time trying to find myself again . Never again will I marry . Its not the institution it used to be .People are getting out far more than getting in .
I know theres alot of emphasis put on the LBS being half to blame . Thats BS . I can truly say that maybe I got too comfortable in my marriage and so did she but never once did I contemplate having an affair and destroying my loved ones . Its insane to do such a thing . I would do anything to spare my family from any harm what so ever . But she is a weak individual and not worthy of our family ,or at least thats how i feel today