I can be the lighthouse but not the tugboat

[daring]

Well I survived the b-day party and kept my PMA!
H seems off still- memory poor again, tired, health seems down. He's also worried about making money and setting up consulting jobs so I'm sure that's part of it. Yet he also made a point to pay for the extra charges at the bday party when I said I would take care of it all. Reminds me of the teenager trying to prove to Mom he can really do it all on his own.
He also mentioned to me how his family was asking about me when he visited them a couple weekends ago ( dad's side, the one that brings up a lot of issues for him). He said they want to keep in touch with me no matter what and that they hate him ( same thing he said about his mom and siblings). I said no they don't, then realized I prob should have at least validated that he felt that way.
I actually feel bad for him on this issue- he must have a really horrible view of himself and a lot of guilt to keep saying/feeling those things.i know he's also probably trying to reconcile what he's doing and the fact that his dad disappeared from his life at age 12 and basically started a whole new family.
I know- his chit to work through- I can't fix it for him.

I'm off to my combined GAL/social and work trip- will be good to get away!