still holding on - 5

[u-turn]

I had a great and filled weekend with the kids and they have seen that I am ok. No moping, all fun (this is much different than the other times she left). I think they know I have been happier when she is not around . I was thinking that I should have some kind of deep conversation with them about their mom and I, but I decided to let it go and just have fun with them.

I am worried that I am feeling better and happier when she is gone. That doesn't seem right to me. I should miss her - but I don't. I want to miss her because that's what should happen.

She did text me and call me a couple times this weekend, just to say hi and I have kept my responses friendly and short. I sent her a picture of the kids hiking.

W comes back tomorrow night and I am going to keep my good attitude and TRY to not have expectations of a changed person coming home.