I just caught up on your thread, Devotee. I have also been on the other side of the roller-coaster ride (until my wife moved out, now its just anger and coldness) and it's a pretty horrid place to be. It keeps one completely off balance all the time and makes any work one wants to make on oneself or the marriage incredibly difficult.
Giving up is a hard choice to make. I have children, so it may be a little easier for me not to give up as I have reasons beyond myself to try to renew (re-do?) my marriage. Its a tough choice, and all I can do is wish you my sincere best wishes on that decision.
I truly hope you find what you are looking for and some peace on your road to get there.
