jim0987 #4 - strengthening my inner cat

[jim0987]

So thinking about this and I see good points and bad

Good points:
- I called her out on her tone and style
- I limited escalation
- I walked away and said its because my emotions were getting up.
- I resisted sarcasm
- I validated her view on being ambushed and apologised
- I explained my trigger for being upset
- she acknowledged our wedding anniversary
- its something different in terms of wanting to take then down

Bad points:
- it happened
- timing
- I apologised too much
- once I apologised I yielded the power in the conversation allowing her to take the high road
- I kept going back to continue the conversation
- I was not assertive enough in tone, language or body language
- I think I seemed weak
- I specifically said twice that I had said sorry for ambushing her but that there was nothing more I could do about it.
- I was open that the divorce still hurts and upsets me