I picked a fight as I was walking out the door to go to work. For reasons I can't even fathom I mentioned that I wanted TI take the wedding photos down (I don't even really want to it just hurts when my kids look at them as it feels like the whole marriage was a lie.
Any way convo went roughly
M: I'd like to take the wedding photos down at some point if that's OK with you W: yes if that's what you want W: (aggressive tone) you can have the big frame those ones are mine M: that's not really how I want to discuss these things W: well they were mine before I met you M: that's fine but Im not happy with you being rude to me when we talk about this stuff. W: don't condescend me like I'm 3. M: that's not what I'm doing I just..... Look I can feel my emotions getting up so I'm going to go downstairs W: our wedding anniversary is coming up and I didn't realise we were eradicating things.
I went downstairs. W cane down a minute or so later and we discussed (still tense tones) that she felt I was ambushing her and making a parting shot - I said I was unhappy with her tone. I apologised that it felt like I was ambushing her. That wasn't my intent. She seemed to accept it but it felt like she tried to milk the apology.
I also said that we have spent far too long mistakenly assuming the others intent without ever asking. (W was walkibg away at this point)
A couple of minutes later I went back upstairs to explain that the reason I had said about the photos is because S1 was pointing at them and it upsets me when the kids do this. I repeated that I hadn't meant to ambush her.
She was annoyed as I left for work.
And feeling ambushed certainly does not help me build trust. I feel like I need to apologise more but then that doesn't help on the respect front.
Last edited by jim0987; 11/10/1407:33 AM.
Both mid 30s, 2 young kids BD 7sep14 XW moved on long ago, now living with OM1 D paperwork in progress
