The DB MLC threads have been on my mind the past few weeks. Im doing well, still keeping on keeping on. Still working towards finding a new job for my old job has become just a miserable work place unfortunately. D 15 and D 12 are doing great, on honor roll and loving school.
Interactions with EXh have been more than normal lately. Im still noticing patterns with him 4 years later. I had hoped to share these patterns and to get a little feed back from you so as to help me not feel insane. Because even though my life is moving forward and Im doing well, the man still baffles me which still tends to drive me batty. And the basis of it all is I still get mixed messages and still to this day don't know where I stand with that man. To add some things, it's clear Exh will contact me and be very talkative when the new wife is NOT AROUND. I've tested this theory in purposely texting him when I know he's at home. If she's asleep or out of the room he's chatting with me at lightning speed. If she's around, it's a word or two response or hours before I hear anything back. If I text him on his lunch hour or even while he's at work, well he's just Mr. Chatty Kathy!!
I contacted ex H a few weeks ago for help with my computer, the computer he built for me. I was so lost and wondered if the problems I was having had to do with how he set up passwords. Xh was more than happy to help and advise me in what to do. This is all by text message of course. As we chat, I let him know that my grandmother was expected to pass any time. He then told me his grandmother was expected to pass soon too. I had known she was in the hospital but didn't know how bad she was. As it turned out, our grandmothers both passed on the same day within 10 hours of each other. He was kind in his response to me as well as me to him. It was time for our grandma's. No services for my grandma, for she's safely in the double urn next to my grandpa, here in my home.
I asked Exh if he was ok if I went to his grandmother's service, for the girls wanted to go and so did I! His grandmother always was so kind to me after the divorce and was always happy to see me! He told me it was open to anyone.
So the girls and I went. This is where things get really odd.
I see him with the OW. Well first of all, I gotta say this was a good stroke to me ego! I was jealous of that??? Then what I noticed, was them holding hands and being affectionate, which he never was with me. Ok, so I gotta accept that, but I still found it odd. I was prepared to see them together, but of course given this is the first time I've seen them together as a couple, it did push some buttons, but buttons I was prepared for.
XH didn't acknowledge his daughters at all until D12 went to speak to him and say hello. D15 still not wanting to speak with him stuck to my side, and yet XH didn't even say hello to her, smile at her or even acknowledge her.
So Xh and OW were stuck like glue to each other which I thought was odd. He wasn't socializing with anyone like he normally would do in a family setting like that. This was not the man I used to remember!
The girls and I enjoyed the reception afterwards and it was so nice to see the family I haven't seen in so long. I was warmly greeted and people were generally happy to see me. I needed that because I was so worried I was hated, especially by his Cousin. However she and I shared a warm embrace and comforted each other in the loss of our grandmothers.
Ex H made no point to say good bye to the girls as we left and D12 had to make the effort to physically go to him and say good bye.
Now here I am 2 weeks later at 5 a.m., getting text from D12. She's with him this weekend, and as it turns out OW is having her 7th or 8th grandchild today. They of course visited her in the hospital yesterday but were headed again at 4 a.m. cause her water broke. D12 informs me they're staying till noon or so and she'll just sleep in the waiting room with her dad???
Ok.... this I understand. They have one vehicle, yet it seems OW can no longer drive herself anywhere nor work any job anymore within the last year. Granted she needs to be there for her daughter.... of course she does! But why does my D12 have to be stuck in the waiting room from 4 a.m. when Xh could just go back home and head back to the hospital later? They live 15 minutes from the hospital!!!
So there's my drama. I guess what still pisses me off is that here we are 4 years later and it's almost like he's living a secret life. He secretly talks to me like a friend, but when she's around it's radio silence. And this personal chauffer thing.... I just don't get.
Im seeing some sort of co dependent "whipped" sort of thing going on with those two.
At any rate my friends, Im confused. Is he still trying to keep his toe on this side of the fence? Why does he refuse to try and re connect with D15? Why does he ignore her, when all I've heard from his mother is how heart broken he was by her being upset with him? When she had every right to be and I know he knows this?
His behavior just doesn't make sense, but then again nothing about MLC makes sense.
XH and OW have gained an incredible amount of weight since being together. I've never seen her so big and he's pushing 450 I swear. I wonder if they're eating away their guilt?
