Michele tells us we will need plenty of patience if we intend to see our M outlast our spouses MLC. The vets here remind us the same thing every day. So what can we do to dig up some more patience when we really need it?

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Like any normal person in a strained M for almost 3 years, I sometimes want to toss in the towel. Then I remind myself that my W is going through a very difficult period in her life. She is doing the best she can. I want to give her my best. Stand by her for as long as I can because she is worth it. Maybe you feel the same way about your spouse.

After all my W and I have had together, after all we've been through together, it seems silly to throw it all away and start over. I truly believe that when we make it through this, we will have something even more special. Something that takes years and trials to achieve. A Mature Love.

In many ways, we already do have this! I just need to not give up on it.

I explained the above in a discussion with my DB friend Raine. Here are a few highlights...

Originally Posted By: Raine
See, there you have it.
You know what you want and the wait will be worth it. Sometimes it's working through the other side of things to figure it out. You can be happy anywhere, in any situation.

Originally Posted By: FY
Basically, I want to help others like me who are tired, but don't want to give up. Marriages are worth saving!


Yes they are. I'm so glad that I saved mine. There is a lot to deal with, but there would be so much more, and so much worse to deal with otherwise. And I just don't think there is any guy out there that even measures up, as crazy as that sounds with what he did. I would still pick him every day.


I believe happiness comes down to perspective more than circumstance. To a large extent, we decide how happy or unhappy we are, no matter what is going on in our life. Read Viktor Frankl's "Man's Search for Meaning" for more regarding this.

DB teaches us to live our life for us. Make any changes for us. Get a Life outside of the old relationship. Find our own meaning and purpose. If we do this properly, how can we go wrong?


Last edited by ForeverYoung; 11/09/14 05:08 AM.
M: A really long time.
Crisis: 5 years.
She's still worth it.

Life is never made unbearable by circumstances, but only by lack of meaning and purpose. -Viktor Frankl