"But I'll tell you, the only time I felt like my H might actually desire my body was when he complained that I wouldn't let him see me naked. (I'd gained a lot of weight after my third child and felt really ugly. Didn't want him to notice.) it never occurred to me that he actually found me attractive when I felt so unattractive. "

I could have done a better job sharing it with my wife, but ditto with her and child bearing weight gain. I think she is absolutely beautiful even more so naked.

"Yes, as you said, my viewing of porn did make her feel less desirable, even though I desired her no less because of it, but there's no point trying to convince her otherwise. That just dismisses her feelings. I need to validate her feelings: my viewing of porn must have made you feel undesirable and that must have hurt."

Absolutely. My wife made it clear too.

Me 47 - W 35
M 9 - T 10
2 Daughters - 7 & 9
Discovery of EA- 8/4/14
S - 8/5/15
D mentioned - 9/11/14
R & Piecing - 3/17/15
Regard one another as more important than yourselves.
- Philippians 2:3