The tone of his emails suggests, to me, that even though he has sadness about the outcome of our relationship, he isn't willing or able to take a step towards me. His own parents got divorced when he was about 3 or 4, so it was all he knew, and he has said that, since his parents got along cordially, it was kind of no big deal for him. (I think he has some unresolved issues in that area, but if he is not ready to face them, then so be it).
25years gave her M a 10% chance of survival. I give mine 1% or less.
If he was showing anger, or acting crazy, I might give it a better chance because that shows there is a lot of unresolved stuff. But my H seems calm, friendly, detached.
I've also been thinking a lot about our interactions in the last few days. I opened up a lot about my role in our downfall. He thanked me for that, told me he's happy that I am happier now... and yet still has not been able to really acknowledge his side of things. I played a big role, yes... but so did he.
At about the 1 yr mark, probably a little more, I was at a very similar place, spilled my guts to H, he was cool and detached. "Thanks but no thanks." He was calm, friendly and detached from jumpstreet. Never visibly angry with me (after the first week), never a harsh word.
I was also sure he had work to do yadda, yadda, yadda but the real crux of my story was, I still had work to do. When we continue to be worried about someone else's sandbox it's a clear sign that we're not done yet. There's still work to do.
So I let go even more, and left him to his path.
Really. Stopped looking over my shoulder to see if he was back there.
I gave my M a very small odds of making it. I "knew" my H so well.
Let go of your timeline and live your life. make the most of it you can. You're not ready for a new R anyway, are you?
Me 57/H 58 M36 S 2.5yrs R 12/13
Let me give up the need to know why things happen as they do. I will never know and constant wondering is constant suffering. Caroline Myss
