Continuing DBing after the affair

[PeterV2]

Ok Maybell I see your point. Well put.

The thing is what about when I can't have her. Like now - she won't let me touch her - hasn't for over a year (except a couple of slip ups).

I guess it's all the same. Even if I can't have her right now, I should save myself and not do it. Only once I can say I don't look at porn anymore would I be worthy of her acceptance and only then would be worthy of consideration for reconciliation.

I know even if our M ends in D, this would be a problem in any future relationship, as it seems the female view of it is fairly consistent across the board.

So I should honour myself and honour her and our M and do what's right for us. Because we need to build the "us" and having that issue overshadowing us is not just counterproductive but downright fatal to the M.

My W is absolutely beautiful and turns me on - always has. That's never been an issue. It's just I'm the HD S and she's the LD. About 3 years ago she asked me how often we should ML. I said daily - she thought that was too much - so we agreed on at least twice a week. That was too infrequent for me but I figured take what you can get and be happy with that.

But now it's never. I hope one day to get back to that point of twice weekly, but until I fix myself and grow that goal will be unattainable it seems.