@Lost: Thank you for that. I can only say that the wisdom in your words shines through.
I've always just been happy to be in the room, so to speak, when it comes to life. I take my joy from the small moments in between the big ones, which is probably why I have so many good memories. And why I can't understand why she doesn't. Like when she and I would watch TV shows together. I was truly happy to be there veg-ing with her and she probably just wanted to watch the show. Its all about perspective.
I have been beating myself up with 'why' for months now and, of course, haven't gotten any answers. I guess I feel I am owed them, in a (selfish) way. I am a bit resentful that it was easier for her to walk away than to find a way to communicate.
I have no idea how to make myself happy as of yet. I WAS happy and now that is gone. I am just working on finding some balance and understanding. And, I am not ashamed to admit, finding some way to work this out and bring my family back together.
