An Argument ISN'T Just A Contradiction

[LoisB]

When I get stressed, overwhelmed, etc...I tend to retreat into old habits that feel safe. Ways I learned as a kid to cope, once again, become my way of life...

In my childhood, I had some really domineering, controlling, abusive, angry men. Retreating into myself was a successful way of protecting myself. Retreating into myself right now isn't saving me, it's hurting me. The men at work are manageable-even the perfectionist. I've dealt with far worse when it comes to anal-retentive men. I've lived with far, far, far worse.

I can handle this guy.

Right now, I'm actually in a good position because I can blame the stress of the move and so forth on my initial first three issues. If I regroup now, I can still salvage their good opinion of me.

I've learned a lot in a short amount of time.

I knew coming in that I didn't have certain skills they were looking for. They've now seen me at my weakest. I allowed Smokey's rejection and all past rejections to color how I FEEL about myself in this new job.

Bottom Line: I can do this. I know I can do this. I need to remind myself of other times in my life when I've been consistent and followed through. I need to look at things I've accomplished a little bit at a time, piece-by-piece.

I need to break it down.

I need to shut out the voices in my head saying it can't be done, at least not by me. The voices saying that this is impossible for Heather to achieve...those voices are now muted.