3 months after BD, the roller coaster ride hurts

[devotee]

I finished both DB and DR. I try and apply many of the techniques daily. Really trying to 180 lately.
Therapy has been going ok. H says he's only ready to give me friendship, that he's not "in love" with me and isn't sure he can ever trust me again. It's so hard when I know I'm not in the wrong and he's seeing things through MLC tinted glasses. But I try and not let it get me down. I have been managing my anxiety attacks better and remaining a lot calmer. Hoping to book myself a massage next week.
Worst part of week was H deciding he would not go with me to my parents house for Thanksgiving and Xmas. My family is so sad and hurt over this.