MLC W Dates, Part V

[Wet]

Ok Wet,

Full disclosure: I lived most of my life in the TC...saw real Viking football OUTSIDE, the Stars played hockey where they belonged...North, etc., yahsureyoubetcha, dontchaknow?

Ah well, your appreciation of hockey, especially Minnesota North Star's hockey shows you are a man of keen intellect. The last year of the North Stars I had partial season tickets 10 rows up from the ice between the red and blue lines. So awesome.

While we were dating, I took W to a Stanley Cup game against the Mario Lemieux Penguins. And during the warm-ups, while my attention was watching the Stars, one of the Penguins flipped a puck up into the crowd. It hit W on the bridge of her nose. Does it reflect poorly on me that all I could think to ask her was "did you catch the puck?" (she did not. )

And there is this thing called "Minnesota Nice"... I never liked it much because I prefer blunt truth, always knowing where things really stood. It sometimes felt a wee bit disingenuous, know what I mean?

I'm somehow "hearing" it a bit in your responses, maybe I'm wrong.

I understand that things like board postings and emails are difficult to interpret without seeing the author. So I purposely try and use polite, appreciative writing. I do not intend to come off as disingenuous.

Anywoo...

"Actions vs. feelings"? I really have so little contact with W that I don't have the opportunity for either.

I disagree, you don't need to have contact with W to think, feel or act forgiving. Do you need contact with God to believe, think and act as a faithful religious person?

[quote]I am a turtle. I am slow to initiate change. So yes, I dislike change not initiated by me.

Boy, MLC sure does through a metric ton of change on your life, huh?

Do you like this about yourself? There are qualities I have that are very, very beneficial to some areas of my life, such as work, but in other areas, not so much...

I do like this resistance to change trait about myself, bc it separates me from most other people, who are caught up in the race. My patience and willingness to wait before making a decision, plays well with my use of DB though. And yes, W's MLC caused me to question everything in my life, including my faith. But that's a story for another day.

Is this aspect of you, disliking change, being slow to change, something that is working for you in all areas of your life?

(you knew this was coming...) What about change do you fear?

What is "change" to you?

Could you maybe re-frame in your mind, what change is really is?

Asking about 'change', and why I dislike it and maybe even 'fear' it, again raises the issue of faith for me. I think God puts people in the place where we are for a reason. And until I see what God is doing, I'm going to stay where I am. So I see that most desire for change I think is motivated by fear, instead of faith, and should therefore be avoided.

My W is a good woman. But she did not fully understand my desire to wait things out to see where God wanted me to go, or what He wanted me to do. I understand that my W is more rational than me on this.

So now looking back at the foreclosure of our family home, I view it as a blessing, though it broke our family apart. Bc W had so many cats, the home was filthy and unhealthy. It hurt my health, and it hurt our d17's health. And by losing our home, not only did it get us out of that mess, it eventually forced W to end her job as a cat breeder, which again I think is a good thing.

So where was I going with this? Oh yes, I think that change can be viewed as being completely different with the benefit of time. I'm hoping my W's leaving me will be viewed differently with the benefit of time.

BTW, T^2 someday soon, I am going to ask you some questions about your choices. I went thru a good portion of your 19 threads, and it was a really compelling story. When you wrote that you decided to separate on March 19th, I wept. Thanks for sharing it with us.