Wife's Still a Lesbian

[hotwheelsaust]

essjay, it is hard, but you are doing good. It is nice when someone comments on your new outlook/attire, when you have put that work into it.
Wonka is right, having an affair with the same sex and being a lesbian are two different things. For most of us, it is hard to separate the two.
I can only look at my own sitch, to understand what Wonka is saying.
I can understand what you are going through. My W moved into the separate bedroom the night of BD. She used the other bathroom, I never saw her naked again, or even in pj's. It was though I hard become a person she didn't know/trust or comfortable around anymore. She also locked herself in the room to play texting with the OW. Up to all hours of the night doing the texting.
You are so right about "blocking out your entire existence", that is exactly how it felt with me.
Advice? Not much more that can be added at this stage. Keep going with the PMA, that being recognised is fantastic. Keep going with the relationship with your D's, again that is fantastic. These things are what helps you get through all this, whatever the outcome.
Have you started thinking about the legal side of things? Changing accounts, names on accounts, and covering you for the future?
I came home to a text one day saying she has taken half of the money out of the account. Yes she is entitled to half the money, but that was the slush fund for our investment property, which I ended up paying by myself for the next 18 months.