Why? Does she get upset when you arrive at your own house?
I could see that in reverse. For example, I like my H to let ME know when he's coming because he is the one who didn't want to be a part of my life any more. I am living here alone because of choices he made.
This is no longer his home, by his choice. So I want to be informed when he's going to be here.
Jim... try and just stick to a few changes at the outset here. You're doing what many of us do and trying to do everything at once, looking for solutions. But what happens with that is you don't know what's helping and what's making the situation worse.
Did you used to text her when you were on your way out of courtesy? Then by all means, continue if you think that would be courteous. Does she do the same? Do you appreciate it? Then don't throw the baby out with the bathwater.
Continue to do the things that seemed to work well for you as a couple previously.
But don't start trying this, that, and the other thing. You'll make yourself crazy, not to mention those of us who are following along!
Stick to your lists: GALS Boundaries and Consequences 180s PMA Plan Base everything on the values you hold dear as a guideline FOR YOUR OWN BEHAVIOR, not hers.
Me 54 Him 63 M 23 T 29 0 Kids Funny Farm of Rescues 12/12 OW-- 5/13 ILYBINILWY: A denied 9/13 Proof OW: ENDED 2/14 Got D papers on my BD I kicked him out for my sanity 9/14 He wants to "talk"?
