I need to figure out the way this all works for ME. That first week when I was "on my own" and I panicked...the perfectionist editor jumped down my throat and began hovering. He hasn't stopped hovering. Until, I prove I can handle this job, he will continue.
I've also gotten away from my prayer and gospel music.
The Jeep has been broken/needs a new exhaust--towing it from Ohio shook up some rust. So, D20 and I have been car-pooling. This means I spend a long 45 minutes with her in the morning and evening. I also have to adjust my schedule to accommodate her schedule. She is done with work by 2:30. It's put more pressure on me. On Monday and Tuesdays, it means I feel pressure about getting done--and, it means D20 can't get home to D12 by 3:30 p.m.
It also means that...days like today...I could have D20 take D12 home at 2:30 and I could get a few more hours of work done without the kids around.
D20 has stepped up some since the blowout on Monday. She made an appointment and had an estimate for the Jeep repair. $650 in repairs with $450 needing done ASAP in order to make the vehicle driveable.
I have some things to sort out. It's a lot. But, I will figure it out.
D12 has calmed down. We are working on her homework and chilling.
I have noticed a few things. I get the most done on the paper when I get up really early...5 a.m. It's quiet and no one bothers me.
Also, I know it's not realistic right now...but, I want a treadmill. I need a way to burn off this energy. I suppose I could use my Salsa DVD too.
I'm also putting a lot of pressure on myself to put things in place in the house. We still don't have a microwave-which hasn't been as big a deal as I thought it would be--it is for D12 though--she is dying for a hot pocket!
We also need a living room. No couch or chairs.
"You know, it's times like these when I realize what a superhero I am." Tony Stark/Iron Man
“Focus on what you can do, then do it with all your heart.” Lois Wilson
