Tough call. Personally I think she's inviting you hoping that you DON'T go so she can then blame you for not being there, but I dunno. I would go with the "do what YOU want to do" standard advice.
I do think your yardstick should be what D13 would want however, not what you and your wife are going thru with the current "dance" you're on, that's for sure. Would your daughter be happy if you came?
