I have 20+ years of living in a SSM that was due to HIM taking care of his needs with porn instead of with his wife. That was a real eye-opener.
And I have 20+ years of living in a SSM as the high-drive spouse, so we're probably going to have to agree to disagree here, GG. I do realize that most women view this subject differently than most men, but my position on it is if it's not affecting their sex life, and you're not squandering the family's money on it, then it's not really an issue. Since they HAVE no sex life currently, and she's not even IN THE MARRIAGE, then I see no reason for him to do this FOR HER.
I did say that:
a) He should do it FOR HIMSELF if it's something HE feels he needs to work on;
b) it's also something he IS going to need to do FOR HER if and when she recommits to the marriage, because it's important to her and she's expressed that to him before.
