Hello BF, I am new to the forum. Have been reading your threads and I can symphatize SO much with you... 25 years married last june, but separated since Dec 2012, he asked for divorce Jan this year; I was devastated. We owned a business together and have been out of work since we separated; working from home and "hiding away" on special dates visiting a friend outside the country or visiting my daughter who lives abroad. Date for signing in front of the judge is next December 15th... I get sad sometimes, very sad wishing he could change his mind, but says he has thought about it and is better for him and for "us". We also had a vacation home to which we used to go every weekend, I put a lot of effort on it but was so misserable going there, differently from you when I had people coming with me I went to the bathroom and cried a lot... so finally decided to take my things out and have not been there since Jan/Feb. He is keeping the house in the D settlement.
I have been applying for jobs, at least have sent 40 CV but no answer at all. Maybe the answer is I have to continue with my business, but is at home and that depresses me... I want to be around people and change my activities.
I am loosing hope as the date approaches, it is little more than a month. Have read the Divorce Busting book but besides being kind (when I have not exploded while discovering he has been visiting pro....tes during at least the first year of separation).
He has been kind with money, each time less, already got an alimony settlement which would allow me to live tight, fair enough I think. Worked shoulder to shoulder for 15 years and before for 8 years in other companies, but have no title. Going back to school in January, but in the meantime I am still having my moments of tough sadness.
Went through a depression, which I think I am getting out little by little cause was medicated but have cut the dosis to 1/4 slowly and of course it is letting me feel now the reality.
Wish there was hope for after divorce, but a change in him would be needed (alcohol, ego, MLC I think)... so wish I could live my life without depending on this hope
