still holding on - 5

[u-turn]

It was a very quiet week. We have had very little conversation, aside from a little work stuff. Another week of her not doing much for the kids.

S17 is getting a little fed up with her bad moods and her treatment of me. I explained a little about it - told him not to worry about me and don't think it is at all about the kids. He knows this.

She did wake up the night before last and tell me of a dream she had about her grandfather, she was crying a little - he passed away this summer and she was very close to him (as was I).

She is going to FL to spend the weekend with her aunts and cousins who she is also close with. I'm taking her to the airport this afternoon. This brings back some bad feelings in me too (this is where I called her out on having the A, this is where she left to several times this spring and summer, this is the family that I love too that she is excluding me from again). I've had expectations that she would come back as a changed person when she'd go away before. This look of "are you better now" when she'd come home really bothered her. I have no expectations this time.

I am in a MUCH better mental and emotional place this time and am looking forward to spending time alone with the kids. I have a hiking day planned if the weather holds out. Some welding with S17, and a concert with D14.