"loving mother" was so hard for me to type. Not becuase I don't think I'm a loving mother, I do. And man, do I love that kid!!!! But the words "loving mother" was actually a consolation prize I gave to myself because I couldn't type "I am a great mom". Why? And I'm sobbing while I type this but because GREAT MOMS ARE GREAT WIVES EVEN IF ONLY FOR THE SAKE OF THEIR CHILDREN AND DON'T HAVE HUSBANDS WHO WALK AWAY BECAUSE THEY ARE GREAT TO THEIR HUSBANDS!!!
I totally relate to this. Totally. So much of my identity is tied up in being a mother. If I'm being honest, a large portion of why I want my M to work out is for my children. And ironically, focusing exclusively on being a mother worked to the detriment of my M. Hindsight is fabulous.
Yes. I admit that I was a great friend and partner-however, I know I was not a good wife. I did tell my xh if I could things over, I would do many things differently. My kids came first. And RPP is right, hindsight is a funny thing.
I think you are doing great SS:-)
3 kids BD 12/15/13 (IDKIILY. ) Rope dropped Cirque du Soleil style D final 9-9-14 "Some people are born on 3rd base and go through life thinking they hit a triple." Barry Switzer
Good for you, SS, for making the list. Isnt it amazing how it is so hard for us to embrace all that we are when we are going through all of this in our marriage?
The thing is that you are all those things. No one can take that away from you .....except you.
Originally Posted By: Ss06
GREAT MOMS ARE GREAT WIVES EVEN IF ONLY FOR THE SAKE OF THEIR CHILDREN AND DON'T HAVE HUSBANDS WHO WALK AWAY BECAUSE THEY ARE GREAT TO THEIR HUSBANDS!!!
About that ^^^^, you dont get to take all the blame, SS. Sorry, but you just dont have that kind of power. There were two people in that marriage. One of them chose to walk away. He had different choices he could have made.
Who I was and am as a mother is separate from who I was as a wife. Could I have done some things differently as a wife? Yep.
But I did the best I could with the knowledge and tools I had at the time. Had I known better, I would have done better. Whatever I did or didnt do was never with the INTENT to cause harm. That makes a big difference in my eyes.
Own only your stuff, SS. Give his stuff back to him.
Ok, Ss.....the big question now, as it was asked to me:
Quote:
1. I am strong. Super strong. 2. I am smart. 3. I am brave and courageous. 4. I love to learn. 5. I am interesting. 6. I am a good friend. 7. I am helpful. 8. I am curious. 9. I am talented. 10. I am hilarious, even just to myself. 11. I am fair. 12. I am reliable. 13. I take gorgeous photographs. 14. I am astute. 15. I am quick witted. 16. I am creative. 17. I am great at yoga. 18. I am a loving mother. 19. I can read lips. 20. I am very attuned to my intuition.
WHO can take any of that ^^^^^^^ away from you??????
Nobody, shining. Not one single person... Except me... And even I can't take away some of them... I'm so naturally quick witted that I couldn't stop if I tried.
Card,
My day was GREAT!! Not for any specific reason other than fun at work, bought some new clothes, good interaction with H and D is home with me again. I meditated this morning which naturally makes the day a little calmer and easier. It's a wonder I don't do it every day! So, awesome day even though I had a HUGE MIGRAINE all day and slept about 2.5 hours last night. Still good. Loving this feeling!
AWESOME!! I'm so glad to hear you had a good day at work, too. I actually thought to as you how you were doing because I walked past a BR earlier today
So glad to hear about the positives for you today, Ss. Add another thing to your positives list: You don't have to deal with this nasty east coast November weather in SoCal hehe
Me 38, WAW 30 D11 (former marriage) S2 T 8 years M 3 years BD 8/20/23 S 8/20/23
Card, the grass is always greener. What I wouldn't give for some cooler weather (it was 91 today!!!) and some good rain. I miss wearing sweaters and it being cold enough to make it tough to talk while standing outside. I'd sure like to have green grass and not have my water rationed. It's beautiful here but I'm an east coast girl at heart and man, do I miss it! The positive note is though that they keep it a chilly 67 degrees at work, so I can wear a sweater because to me that's close to freezing.
