Got back from our long planned Disneyland vacation last night. I had an absolutely lovely time with daughters and MIL. Was wonderful to see girls giddy with joy.
Its the first time in 3 months, that my impending divorce was not at the forefront of my thoughts every day, and I have to say that felt pretty awesome. This was a temporary break, but knowing that someday it will be my permanent reality is something to look forward to. I thought I would be saddened by the sight of all those intact happy families - but truth be told, I was able to just enjoy it for what it was - a fabulous 3 generation vacation.
However, when D6 was flipping coins into the wishing well, with her eyes tightly shut, and immense concentration dripping from every pore, it didn't take much mind reading to guess what she was wishing for.
Tomorrow I meet with STBX to decide if we can come up with an agreement prior to meeting with the mediator. Looking forward to a lovely day of putting together a spreadsheet with boxes for us to initial.
Looking forward to catching up on everyone's threads.
Alas Old Dog, I wouldn't make a good Disney heroine. I'm not much of a Wisher. More of a "Put Together a Well Thought Out Plan and Execute", kind of gal
Its the first time in 3 months, that my impending divorce was not at the forefront of my thoughts every day, and I have to say that felt pretty awesome. This was a temporary break, but knowing that someday it will be my permanent reality is something to look forward to. I thought I would be saddened by the sight of all those intact happy families - but truth be told, I was able to just enjoy it for what it was - a fabulous 3 generation vacation.
Raliced, so glad you enjoyed the vacay, and your attitude is great. Keep it up!
Ok- Leaving to meet STBX shortly to see if we can work out terms of divorce between ourselves. Honestly I feel nauseous, uncharacteristically shaky and just want it to be over with. STBX has always said he doesn't want to fight - but nor does he have any idea about what I want. I think its all pretty reasonable - but "reasonable" doesn't really describe him lately.
Since the revelation that he has been living with OW since BD and exposing kids to her - I have been remarkably calm and resolute - my up and downs have stopped. I have not had any doubts since that day about dropping the rope. I think I'm ok - but sometimes I worry that maybe I'm just numb.
Good luck, Raliced. Try to stay calm and focused. I do think if you are able to work things out amongst yourselves, it is a good thing. Sending you positive energy.
3 kids BD 12/15/13 (IDKIILY. ) Rope dropped Cirque du Soleil style D final 9-9-14 "Some people are born on 3rd base and go through life thinking they hit a triple." Barry Switzer
Ok- Just got back. STBX agreed to everything. He will pay a reasonable amount of child support (quite a bit more than the state would have required him to pay but apparently less than he was expecting) Finances will be tight for me for a year or two but I should be ok.
He agreed that I would have sole physical custody and he will have visitation. He did hesitate a bit at that one - but ultimately agreed. I really wasn't offering him any less time than he asked for - this arrangement just gives me a little more flexibility (particularly during the school year).
There was one terse moment. I said we would need to go to co parent counseling, but that after the revelation about him living with OW, I needed more time before I spent that much time with him. He immediately bristled at that one and got hostile.
I had him initial each point - I will feel much more relieved when it is in a legally binding divorce decree.
Ugh- so ended up having a few email exchanges with STBX - presumbaly after he had checked with his lawyer about some of the items he had initialed.
You know what his biggest issue was? I had said that if the girls were sick we needed to share the responsibility of taking time off from work to care for them (so that I don't burn through all my PTO - which I have done in the last few years). I added that if they were sick - he shouldn't move them to his house an hour away but should stay with them at my house. He said that was an absolute "no go". Just one more instance of his extreme distate towards spending a single moment more than needed in our marital home. I am just perplexed by that attitude.
Also we hadn't addressed holidays - and he said if he ever gets a normal schedule that he would like to rotate them, but then he had to add a lot of invective about how favorable this agreement was to me and how all he had ever wanted was time with the girls.
I didn't reply to his b****ing and moaning - because it won't help anything right now. But seriously, I didn't want ANY of this - how is any of this unfair to him?
