Newcomer Living in Hell 2

[bravo61]

wow Maybell, you really know how to make a fella feel hopefull! just kidding the reality is the reality. i just didn't want to pursue and trying to detach. but i'm glad i did because that was one of the issues in our M. and for the record for all of those reading, i began my changes before BD. and the changes can be for the M and for ME. it doesn't have to be a zero sum game like some have posted on here. do i want to be a better person-yes! do i want to keep my marriage by changing aspects of my behavior that were bad that i didn't recognize-yes!

in my M i was critical, angry, selfish, just generally not helpful and didn't show her my love in a way she would understand (LL). was i like that every day,no. but i realize the reality doesn't matter. it's the reality that she saw as our marriage and i can't dispute any of it. i live my W and i want to spend the rest of my life with her showing her that-yes, i can and want to listen! i'm actively working on me through ways i've previously posted. i think a large part of my sitch is that she wasn't happy with the way i was and who she was. as evidenced by her embracing the going out, tatoos, attitude with me (anger). she is angry with herself for not speaking up to me bout her needs (her lack of self worth from upbringing and of course me).