MLC W Dates, Part V

[kat727]

Those guys really got you thinking. Good for them and for you. Something I didn't get for a while is that forgiveness is for yourself. I have forgiven ex, his affair partner but mostly myself. Why me you ask? Well, I was pretty hard on me and looked at myself first when this happened. I became whiny and clingy and miserable. Probably pretty normal reactions but I needed to forgive myself for being that way.

I know that ex had a hard time letting go but was also cake eating when it came to me and her. I was led to believe there was hope because I wanted to believe it. In reality from day one he said he would leave me and the kids for her. He never waivered on that. I forgave him the pain he caused because I don't think that was his intent. He couldn't see how to bring happiness to himself so he went searching for it outside.

I forgive her because she was in a place of pain as well and her intent was not to cause me pain. Did all of this hurt? Of course it did but forgiveness for me allowed me to let go of so much of it. I don't condone what they did but I let it go.

With your wife it was not her intent to hurt any of you but to live her life on her terms, to find out what she thought she might have missed. She feels that she should have had a better life somehow.

Now when you pray for her, I suggest that you pray she finds peace for herself, that the pain in her life goes away and that she finds that she can do all that she wants in life.

What you pray for yourself and what you pray for her may not match up, because you both don't want the same things right now. That's ok. Hopefully you will come together further down the road.

I am so thankful that I have my four kids. I am thankful to my ex for that. I had fertility issues with all but the last one. I know for him, as an only child it must have been hard dealing with their different personalities and arguments at the same time. However, they have been the greatest gift. I believe now that he was in my life for that very reason.

I hope you can find peace while you are recovering and those 3 wonderful guys are assisting you. I'll check in soon.

kat