Claire, would showing appreciation be a 180 for you (compared to pre-BD)? If so, you could send a simple reply that said thank you for taking the time to read and respond to your earlier email. I am having a lot of success over here just by being appreciative.
I would not ask him any questions at this point, or encourage him to see things differently. It will feel like criticism or pressure (or both). But I definitely understand wanting to respond!
