She says that we need to be under separate roofs and that she is still looking for a place that will suit her needs.
I would strongly suggest that you insist she find something by Saturday. Having your D13 witness her mother coming home at 3 and 4am, drunk, is not the environment for a girl about to go thru her most formative years in regards to how she will view men and relationships.
If your wife can't find a permanent residence by then, I'd suggest she crash on one of her party girlfriend's couches.
Time to be the Papabear, Onguard. Your daughter's (not to mention yours!) emotional health is more important than trying to re-attractive your wayward wife at this point.