Sorry, I typed out a lengthy reply yesterday, but I don't see it. So.........I will try again and try to shorten it.
One mountain most WW's have to conquer is the depression. The kind that saps her of physica and mentall energy in areas that should have her full attention. What should seem to be logical motivation.......simply has zero effectiveness on her. As a result, she is even more discouraged and questions herself.
She has to battle the depression as if it is her enemy.......b/c it is. Unaddressed, it could cause her to give up. Depression is bad stuff! The good news, however, is that it can be treated. For me, it took many tries of different anti-depression meds. Her doctor needs to work closely with her.
Therapy works well for some women, as long as she doesn't get one of those who just tell her to go out and find whatever makes her happy. She doesn't need that kind of dime store "counseling".
She needs information to understand what happened to her and what she is experiencing now. Unfortunately, there is a lot of material out there that she doesn't need. She needs to be reinforced in her decision to do the right thing.
She needs a lot of inspiration. Soul food, if you will. For some it is through their spiritual beliefs and they can get guidance from the Pastor/Priest. For some they are uplifted from music. Others benefit through reading self-help books. The caution about books and music is to stay away from any kind that feed a fantasy of a better man, etc. She will need to watch this like a plague.
She needs to have her own boundaries in place for herself. Transparency will help, but she needs to know she cannot go around people who may have encouraged her waywardness. She needs to stay away from the places she may have went during that time (bars, etc.). Don't fall back into old WW habits of going out late without her H, etc. She is still in a vulnerable condition with the depression and she wants relief some days, which is understandable, but she can't find it by taking the path she took in her WW days.
It puts the H in a fragile position b/c he wants to support and help her. However, he has to be careful or it may seem he is pushing, or trying to fix her. It's a delicate line for him. I think the most dangerous sign would be if she shows a strong resentment. If she simply refuses to get help (from some source).
How long it takes varies on the individual. But when the depression starts to lift, I believe she will be able to feel the interest and energy return. This is another process that requires time. Piecing is hard. It is challenging.
It is not about what you feel should work in your M. It is about doing the work that gets the right results. Do what works!
