Zues, I appreciate your reminders and I followed them!
He just wanted to talk about my concern that D isn't doing all that well with the separation and it's taking its toll. I explained some of the drawings she has made (all of her own volition) and my concern with the depiction of our family (complete with "before" and "after" depictions).
He generally think she is fine and basically is of the belief that I'm projecting my sadness onto her. He did a good job of phrasing it so it didn't sound so accusatory.
I listened to his view point, I validated, I expressed my thoughts, I didn't respond in an agitated way, I didn't react, I was slow, even keeled and low energy.
Surprisingly so. I'm proud of that. Very.
I'll admit that I was secretly hoping he had come back from New York with a profound new outlook and desire to be with me but, alas.
As I was in yoga imagining him saying "let's do this" I immediately realized how that'd be a cop out of the work that needs to be done. Sure, it'd make me happy immediately but in the long run? Where would we end up?
I hate that his desire to "talk alone" took me out of ME-centric back into US-centric.
But, here's the positive...
I'm NOT on the floor sobbing. In fact, I'm about to make myself some dinner, drink a ton of water after sweating it all out at yoga, take some Excedrin for this 48 hour long migraine, catch up on what happened during election day, perhaps meditate a bit and go to bed.
Strangely (or amazingly, you decide) yoga's theme tonight was "choosing happiness". The teacher talked about how sometimes it's a choice we have to make every second, every minute of a day and other times it comes easily but that it is a choice to let go of the things that take away our happiness and to focus on the good thing that lead into happiness.
Needless to say, I took a lot away from the class tonight.
