Continuing DBing after the affair

[gogofo]

She doesn't have the DBing language received here (I.e. The old M is dead. This will be our new M.), and it's very difficult for many of them to look at M with the same man being different Even if he has gone many months proving his changes, it is hard to trust him not to fall back into the old ways. And if her feelings of "want to" has stalled, where does she get the energy? she is scared the emptiness will remain.

Sandi2, where do they get the energy? I know my W wants to work on our M, but she says she doesn't know how.

Your words about the WAW's forgiveness seems to be spot on with my situation. I assume this is something she has to deal with or go through on her own. I am at a loss to help her see the new M as a new R and trust in my changes being permanent. It is disheartening and emotionally taxing to see progress and then her feelings of old relationship return and us turning back to where we started.

I have been keeping up with my changes and finding new changes that I would like to see within myself. I just don't know what else I can do besides keep up with my changes to bring us closer to full reconciliation.