Doing the limbo thing (thread 7)

[shodan]

I should have added that I did speak with my W last night while she was traveling for work and she admitted to the A, albeit only an EA.

We somehow got into a discussion of our R and I mentioned that we need full trust and honestly before we can work on our R. I told her that I know what has been going on with her and the OM, that it was disrespectful and damaging to our M and our family. I said that even if we don't stay married, we will be tied at the hip for the rest of our lives due to our kids, birthday parties, holidays, graduations, grandkids, etc. Therefore, it is in our best interest to be honest with each other no matter what the outcome of our M.

She of course denied everything at first but then finally admitted to a very serious EA with him. She said he was there for her when she was so unhappy. She said that I was not around (I was at martial arts two nights per week) and that he was there for her. She told me that she knows this was a bad thing for our marriage, was sorry that she did it and that she should never have gone there (she claims they are not in contact). But she also said that it may be a signal that our M is not working if she found it appropriate to seek solace outside of our M.

Do I think it was an EA only? No. I am 99.99% confident it was physical. Not sure that it really matters actually...an EA is equally damaging to a M.

so the positive outcome is that she "admitted" to it. But clearly she is not in the place of wanting NC, wanting to give me full transparency and wanting to work in our M at all costs.