Nitty in a Nutshell #2

[Atsbaby]

Hey Nitty,

So I just want to point out, even though you think it's not such a good thing...your pic is not on his desk. The fact that it's in his drawer still says volumes! If he wasn't serious, your pic would be gone from the office. Look at the small things. That's what gets me through the crazy stuff with Clark. It's one of those baby steps

I agree with Caliguy. Don't let your hurt out. OMG all the hurt I still have inside! Even this past weekend...Clark saw a book in our closet and made the comment that he'd never seen it. I almost lost it! I gave him this book 3 years ago for valentines day. It was part of our healing from him leaving the first time...now that I'm saying this, it just hit me... I hadn't know at the time, but this was still during MLC. Wow, I was out of touch with him!

Anyways, I had to let it go. My demeanor changed and I was no longer happy and joking with Clark. He picked up on this and left the room to do some things. Nothing was said by him or me. I took my time and eventually got to that happy place. I can't control how he reacts to things, I can only control myself. I'm bummed he doesn't remember the book, but now he's seen it again and we can use it to heal this time.

It's a long road still. I'm dealing with a lot of hurt and pain daily, but I don't tell Clark. Today even! I'm mailing off some packages and one of the boxes Clark gave me has OW address on it (thanks Clark, cause I need images of you living with her, even though you say you weren't...LIAR!) now I have to go to MY happy place and move forward. He's not living with her anymore. He's home with me...positives. Find them and hold onto them!