Gogofo - no longer piecing 2nd BD

[gogofo]

Her changing her mind on Thanksgiving has me thinking that maybe she is feeling overwhelmed by the pace we are moving, I don't know.

The Wednesday before we talked about doing what we wanted to do for holidays and not worrying about what our families thought. She said it would be much easier if we did not live in the same town as our families so we could do what we wanted without feeling the guilt from both sides when either splitting the holiday or doing it with only one of them.

On Halloween night she told me that is was my job to plan what we were going to do for Thanksgiving. So I made a plan and have reservations and hotel rooms, etc.

Monday night I asked if she would go with me from that Wednesday morning through mid day Saturday. I don't know if she felt like this was pursuing and moving to fast. From my perspective she gave me the green light to make a plan and I did.

Reviewing what happens between us is that we have great interactions and help each other out very well. When we are spending time together we both seem to enjoy it. It feels we build some momentum and then there is a set back in feelings because of past issues in the marriage.

I even backed off big time with my physical touch, etc. I was working on building affection before trying for a kiss. We had been hugging, tightly, and even on Sunday night when I had to run to the store late at night we hugged strongly and she initiated it.

I know this time I have been very cognizant about my behavior, but I do not know if it is possible for me to help with her feelings from the past and how they effect her. I get motivated to pull 180s and change that person I see as a taker and un-involved in the relationship. She seems to feel the pain again.

Any vets have thoughts about the past creeping up and throwing us through the roller coaster?