She had 9months maternity leave after each child then went back to work 30hrs a week. So not stay at home but was for half of the last 3 years. She resented me for 'making her' go back to work but she had to financially and because the social isolation was driving her nuts. Her mood massively improved within a week of being back at work though she still resented me for it.
I don't know how much she holds that stuff against me or whether its me grasping for things to lessen the impact of my negative NG behaviour.
She would bring this stuff up if I pushed her to find out what was wrong. Though when she was angry she would say more stuff about my negative comments and sarcasm or that I was putting too much pressure on her. Half the time I didn't even notice the negative comments she was referring to.
She would say she did way more than half the childcare I would say that if there was ever a choice between watching the kids or something else then she picked the something else 99% of the time.
So I can rehash the past all I like but it comes back to the same thing. Whatever the cause she stopped respecting, stopped finding me attractive and stopped loving me. She was miserable for whatever reason and OM gave her hope for a happier future.
What that tells me is that she is done (which she has said very clearly) and there is naff all I can do about it. What possible incentive could she have to choose trying to work on a situiation thats made her miserable over new love with OM (and the casual sex option she is also pursuing). I honestly don't know why I want to save my M any more. And I certainly need to let go of the hope that she might have second thoughts.
I do want to make changes in me though because this properly suxx and if I don't I'll be back here in a few years with someone else having left me.
It does make me want to vent some of my anger at her though. (Not going to though). Accepting its 100% over would change my attitude to some things but then I risk getting quite petty.
Both mid 30s, 2 young kids BD 7sep14 XW moved on long ago, now living with OM1 D paperwork in progress
