I know what you mean - one of the things that is hard is that while we need to own our mistakes in the marriage, being married to someone who has real unacknowledged issues is difficult. We know that whatever we have done or not done, that something else is going on. Hard to communicate that to many people who see it as simply a breakdown in the marriage, and not a breakdown of a person.
I have not hidden from my children that I have been hurt by all of this (they are adults) but also urged them to remain open to the possibility of a relationship with their father. Right now it doesn't seem an option, sadly, as he is deep in blame mode, but I remind them what a great father he was for many years, (until the MLC monster overtook him), and not to close the door totally.
I would love for him to rebuild his relationship with his children.
I am so happy for you that you have been given this great gift, and for the part that you have played in it. You are an amazing woman.
