Do I walk away from WAW? (3)

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I read an interesting suggestion here awhile ago that a good way to DB with kids is to create new family traditions. with thanksgiving coming up, im wondering about that. every year we go to Ws father/stepmoms about an hour away. they live on a farm and do thanksgiving up very right. i always look forward to it, but in a way, it has kept us from having any tradition of our own, besides getting in the car and schlepping out there.

now, Ws dad/stepmom have been totally awol through all of this. soon after BD, i called her dad and told him how alarmed i was by her behavior and her drinking. i felt very conflicted about making this call, and honestly i regret doing it now. i was in a very desperate place (before i had discovered these books/forums), and i was very afraid of the destructive path she was on. her dad thanked me for calling, sounded very concerned and said his heart went out to me, but said he doubted there was much he could do for her. he sounded completely removed from the whole thing. "she hasnt ever listened to me and she isnt going to listen to me now". since then, ive heard nothing from them. despite being an hour away, they are never here, never pitch in with our kids in any way, which is more or less normal. W has a strained relationship with him and seems fine with keeping our families interactions to just holidays.

so im wondering, do i just act as if, go to thanksgiving and have a grand old time with her folks? exhibit max PMA and hang with my kids? show W the nuclear family she is leaving behind?

or do I simply say id rather not do thanksgiving with her folks this year and start my new tradition without her?

One of the only concerns she has expressed to me lately is that I not make separate plans for christmas, like taking the kids elsewhere. she is obviously wanting to hang on to so many things status quo ante-BD. but isnt this cake eating? its not like everything in our lives is going to stay the same except the guy shes sleeping with.