jim0987 #4 - strengthening my inner cat

[Ahoy]

jim, it sounds like you're spending a lot of time thinking about your W and what is motivating her actions right now. How does that feel? Frustrating? There's not much you can do about it. You can't just jump back in and try to fix it, as much as you'd like to try (trust me -- I'm a fixer so I know how hard it is!).

Leave your W alone. Don't tell her that you're proud of her (HELLO she is having an affair -- be a strong man, have some boundaries -- read up on Starsky a bit).

It must be hard being in the same house. I would not be able to handle that at all. Are YOU getting out, having fun? If not, go do that right away. Not just to show her that you are moving on with your life but also for your own sake.

Hang in there, but try to shift your focus on the one thing you can affect -- yourself.