Ganb8te 2 - WAH - lost in translation

[Zues126]

Correct. Work o yourself. It's a common theme, "I don't want the old M and/or don't think he'll change". He left because he didn't think YOU'D change. But you are. Give him a W only a fool would leave and be might very well move mountains.

Also, as for #2- both my best friend and I have done things along those lines. We call it the 'dead to me' list. The idea is that if someone hurts us, if they become too much drama, anytime the cons exceed the pros, we just shrug and scratch them off of our list of contacts. I am exaggerating in the sense that this happens very rarely and we both have improved on this. But I have done it.

How it works is that I used to suppress my feelings and instead live in my head. I lived analytically an repressed anything that felt. So if someone was hurting me I'd just 'decide' to not need them around and 'decide' that I wouldn't miss them. What about the pain of loss, the grieving process? I was so disconnected I didn't even know I was suffering. I just always felt that way. Very busy minded, driven and goal focused, and uncomfortable because inside I was always in pain and didn't know.

It wasnt until I hit rock bottom that I was forced to address this model for avoiding emotions. Not sure if your H is the same as me. But whatever he says, this will be a rock bottom for him at some point. If there is an OW it will be after that falls apart. Or after his fantasy gets rained on. But at that point if he looks your direction you want to be your best self and give him another reason to step up.