jim0987 #4 - strengthening my inner cat

[jim0987]

OK so that has crystallised some thoughts.

My W has had it really hard the last few years
- She has had two children both with long deliveries and difficult recovery
- she isn't happy with the impact that it had on her body
- her dad died
- her gran died
- her best friend moved to new Zealand
- her other friends abandoned her
- her sister has ignored her
- she has moved cross country and is a long way from home
- changed jobs several times and now has an difficult and stressful role
- she had to give up her running which was a big part if identity

And through it all her one 'rock' - her husband - was busy making covert contracts and then being grumpy that he (I) wasn't appreciated enough. And that worse by always offering solutions rather than understanding he made her feel like she wasn't trying hard enough, so that even though he was there for her she didn't feel safe enough to ask for what she needed as she was scared he would just make her feel worse.

And the whole time she could see me directing the love and compassion she craved at our kids, just not giving it to her. So she knew I was capable just witholding.

Which on top of all of this there was the massive issue over her ex and my response to that which would have challenged any relationship.

%&£# %%££%&' &#@&%£

How could she resist the promise of OM or even being alone because at least alone there is no one she feels is judging her.


Answers on a postcard for fixing this one please.