Continuing DBing after the affair

[PeterV2]

I'm having a rough time dealing with an angry W. I've been at the RH almost every night for the past couple of weeks while she's out with friends. I need to be there to relieve the staff at 8:30 pm and just get settled into her room and she shows up by 9:30 or so give or take a half hour. Then we talk and have a glass of wine.

Problem is if we start talking about our R things go downhill rapidly. I'm to blame for everything. And she's angry at me because it's all my fault. I can validate her feelings without agreeing with her. But that's a delicate balance for me to effectively express.

She doesn't trust me with our money. So I need to go over everything in detail. She wants to hire someone to go over everything on her behalf. I said fine. I have nothing to hide.
She's upset that I want my business to be paid back for all the money it's invested in her business. Doesn't seem rational. But I get I shouldn't expect rational thinking. Wouldn't tell her that though, because in her mind I'm the crazy one and she's logical and rational.

After we sell the RH she is planning on going away for a few months - dropping off the grid, so to speak. I agreed she needs to do that. Hopefully it helps her. Painful for me, but I'm no stranger to pain at this point. I'll survive.